Yoga and breathing
I’m pretty hard on myself. The weight of perfection sits heavy on my chest but I’m learning I don’t have to be the best at everything I do.
I’ve always felt less than, insecure, and small. After years of performing my poetry I’ve grown a confidence I never thought I could. The bravery that pours out as I shout my deepest thoughts into a crowd is something I’m taking the time to acknowledge now.
I’ve put out a lot of work lately and yet I’m still pressuring myself to do better every time. My mental health has been weighing me down leaving me feeling incompetent, which is far from the truth. On the good days I know that for certain, but on the bad days I need extra reassurance, so I’m finding ways to give that to myself.
If you watch and follow my story you’d know I went back to yoga! Only for a little bit, but wow has it helped so much. I never thought I’d be one of those yogis convincing everyone I know to give it a try but I guess I am. It’s good for you! The way I’m able to pause everything, stop, breathe and listen is something I need more of in my life. With the busy day to day tasks sometimes we forget to acknowledge how much we’re already doing. How much our bodies are working and exerting its energy. It’s a beautiful experience to slow down your mind and I encourage you to find a task, whether it be meditation or yoga that allows you to stay in the present moment. You’ll be amazed at what you’re capable of.
That being said…I haven’t been to yoga in OVER A YEAR! But thank God for muscle memory because my body jumped back in like I never left. Sure there were poses I needed to pace myself with that I was able to do in the past but I overcame the negativity in my head that was saying “I can’t do this.” There were times when I signed up for a 60 minute class (in 105 degree heat btw) and halfway through the deep breathing warm up I didn’t think I could make it to the end, but I did.
I’ve learned a lot of things in my practice with yoga and still learn something new every time I step in the hot room. During these past few classes I’ve shown my full potential to overcome a negative mindset and stay in the moment. I recognize the work I put in daily, understand I wake up with a new body, rewire my mind, and regulate my nervous system. The instructors also give some pretty good affirmations during class and I think that’s what I love most.
There’s a difficult pose at the end of the standing series that I’ve been able to do in the past and somedays my body isn’t up for it but somedays I try until I fall. This last class I took I tried the pose and was able to get down, but when it was time to get back up my knees said NOPE! I fell out of the pose and immediately chuckled to myself because I knew my body couldn’t do it but I wanted to try anyway. The instructor made a comment about it and said it’s all about trying and how you react to the situation. And they got my thinking deeper than this yoga pose.
If you’re afraid of doing something…just try it. Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best? You fall out? You’re embarrassed? But what if you do it? What if the people around you only recognize how far you went before falling? What if you get up and try again? Ask yourself what are you afraid of? Because if there’s another thing I’ve been learning lately is that even if people don’t tell you…THEY SEE YOU!!! They can see what you’re doing and they may not always go out of the way to tell you but when they do their words of encouragement can speak volumes. The same way there is a never ending chain of mailmen I believe there’s a never ending chain of inspiration. There is someone out there that is inspired by you and all you’ve done. Take time to recognize and appreciate what makes you feel inspired and the qualities in yourself that may inspire others. Lean on your personality traits and write down what others love about you.
Be free to make mistakes. Be open to rejection and embarrassment. Be honest and challenge yourself. Be solid in your foundation and stay with your breath. The rest will take care of itself. I hope this helps you the way its helped me.
