First Date Questions

Dating can be hard. First dates can come with a lot of anticipation. “Am I going to like them? Can we work well together? Can they make me laugh?” It’s been a while since I’ve stepped on the dating scene but I remember vividly how uncomfortable and awkward first dates can be.

My poem, “First Date Questions” was written about a week after I went on a date and was asked how I was doing. This conversation took place over the phone so I was able to sell a good story and pretend I was okay. I can’t even remember what I was upset about at the time; all I remember is that it was way too soon to show this side of myself with anyone. The call was short so I had time to wallow in my sadness long enough to find inspiration for this poem.

When you hear about first dates, the topic ‘mental health’ doesn’t really come to mind. Before reciting the poem on stage I would ask audience members what some of their first date questions are and as expected I got a lot of surface level answers. This poem opens up immediately with letting you know “I am not okay” and ties it all back together at the end giving listeners a twist they weren’t expecting.

Performing First Date Questions at VIP in Philly

Fast forward a few years now and “First Date Questions” has become a staple in my poetry sets helping listeners in the community find comfort in their own dating and mental health journey. This poem is one dear to my heart because it’s been at the center of most of my dating journey ever since I wrote it. My mental health unfortunately can take up a large part of my life, both good and bad, and sometimes it’s too big of a secret to keep hidden. I don’t dive into all of the details that come with it but I think I give a pretty good trailer on what to expect when dating me.

I wrote this poem and dreamt, literally had a dream, about turning this poem into a video.

I knew exactly how I wanted to execute this vision, but of course just like everything, things take time. I sat on this idea for years and months, and you have no idea how much joy it brings me knowing I finally get to share it with all of you.

With “First Date Questions” being such a fan favorite during my feature sets, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting so many people who tell me how my words capture their true emotions. I’ve always written for myself as a form of expression. As I’ve been performing more over the years I’ve learned I’m helping others by sharing my experiences. Sometimes all you need to hear is you’re not alone and I like to think my words offer that sense of warmth and comfort others need to move past their pain.

Thirty1Eighty8 and I wanted to create a larger project, than just the video, that jumps into my poem in a way that is helpful to anyone dealing with mental health. We came up with the idea to interview 9 people and ask them to share their perspective on dating and mental health. So far, three episodes are out featuring MT, RK, and Kim. More will be coming every Friday so make sure you stay tuned! Openly having conversations about these topics is important so we can continue to break the stigma that surrounds mental health.

I am so grateful to be part of a large artistic community that pushes, inspires each other, and comes together to support. It took a total of 25 creatives to make this entire project come to life. I am so appreciative to have found a place where I truly feel I belong. Thank you to everyone part of this project and to everyone who helped get me this far.

I’d like to give two special shoutouts for this video to Shak, the guitarist, and Silvano, the assistant camera. If you didn’t know, “First Date Questions” is my second poetry visual. Shak was also the guitar behind “It’s Never Too Late” and he did a phenomenal job. When I reached out to Shak for this project, I sent him the audio and no joke within an HOUR he had the best guitar I could’ve asked for. Thank you so much Shak for your hard work, you have a gift.

Silvano and I met through instagram a while back because he wanted to do a shoot with me.

We never got around to it until a week before we were set to film “First Date Questions.” Silvano is a Jersey based artist and he offered to make the trip out to Brooklyn the following week and help us create this film. Silvano, thank you so much for your help and expert camera skills. The scenes you all caught capture my emotions and words perfectly.

This film has taken up a lot of my creativity these past few months and I’m excited it’s done so I can focus on other things. Thank you for riding this journey with me and supporting me the way you do. I can’t wait to create what’s next.

Moral of this blog?

I’m not one for cliches but sometimes…there aren’t other words that do it justice. Everything takes time. If you keep following your path and steering clear of misguidance you will find your way. You will also find people willing to help you who share your vision. Connections are important. I’ve been leaning on my faith a lot lately and I think this is all proof of my favorite quote from “The Alchemist”

"When you want something bad enough, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

—Paulo Coelho

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me go after everything I want.

First Date Questions Official Video drops Friday July 26th!