body v.s mind
Lately I’ve had just as much energy as a sloth. I’ve been glued to my bed for what felt like weeks but now is the time to GET UP.
I’ve got a lot of things going on between my book launch showcase, filming more poetry videos, my featured Delancey performance and hosting my very first open mic in February! Despite it being all positive things, I’m trying to keep the stress at a minimum; with all the events going on it isn’t hard to spiral.
This is the second blog for this month and it feels like I’m back in school with all these deadlines I’m setting for myself. Obviously I know I don’t have to do any of this. Sometimes I think it’s easier to quit and forget about it all but, that’s not what I want to do. I’ve learned that I have a higher purpose in this lifetime and I’m still trying to explore what exactly that is, but I can’t do that if I’m scrolling on my phone for hours on end doing nothing. It’s time to make moves, and in the dead of January it’s tough. There’s a million excuses I play out in my head: “it’s too cold, I’m too tired, the sun already went down, I don’t feel like it today, I don’t have the energy" the list can go on and on.
I’ve been talking to myself more instead of journaling in the form of prayer and meditation. The mind is a powerful muscle. What we consume matters. How we think matters. If every day we wake up thinking today isn’t going to be good, or “I don’t want to do anything,” our bodies will naturally respond by looking for things to confirm the messages you are telling yourself.
It’s been hard getting out of bed these past few weeks but I’ve been making small manageable steps to help me out of my cave.
I LOVE lists. I’ve written lists of the things I want to accomplish and what happens if I do nothing. I don’t want to see myself be complacent. To achieve better, you have to be better. And that’s what I want to be, better.
I haven’t wanted to use any of my positive coping skills because this bitch depression took over for a little bit. It’s okay though, I think she’s contained for the moment as anxiety is now taking control. I’ve been leaning on my support systems a lot and they’re what’s helped me stay consistent and disciplined.
Discipline wasn’t something that was enforced in my upbringing so I never learned natural consequences of not following through on projects or commitments. But boy, am I learning them now and that makes it hard because I naturally fall back into old patterns.
Like this blog for example. I’ve been writing it for the past two weeks and am finally getting to it before my personal deadline. My mind and body aren’t in sync right now and I feel like I’m fighting for complacency and to be better. I procrastinate my projects but I want to be driven by discipline.
So here’s what’s been helping me lately:
-Praying
-Journaling
-Connecting with others
-Talking to myself
-Dancing
-LOTS of sticky notes
-Timers/Reminders
-Vision boards and manifesting
-Writing letters to my future self
-Acknowledging my growth
I’ve accomplished so much in this life. You have accomplished so much in this life. Take a moment to recognize where you are, what you have, and who you want to be. Or don’t, but do whatever that makes you present in the moment. I’m just sharing what works for me.
Hope to see you at the upcoming events!
With infinite love,
Jess
